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Monday, January 2nd, 2006

Time:9:16 pm.
this is my last public entry

promote here or ask to be my friend or something

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Promotions are welcome ♥
13 thoughts | think of me

Friday, December 30th, 2005

Time:3:12 pm.
Join eastcoast_glam
5 thoughts | think of me

Thursday, December 22nd, 2005

Time:9:42 pm.

Crush calculator

hit it up


10 thoughts | think of me

Thursday, December 1st, 2005

Time:9:27 pm.
pms makes me wacked out

unusually good mood today.

i really think i become the opposite of pms-y

well yesterday doesnt count

People May Scream

Please Make Sundaes for me plese
9 thoughts | think of me

Wednesday, November 30th, 2005

Time:6:02 pm.

im okay.

today was just a bad day

im fine trust me.


2 thoughts | think of me

Saturday, November 26th, 2005

Subject:ps guys
Time:9:57 am.
Mood: anxious.

Boston =

&& that's all i have to say

1 thought | think of me

Tuesday, November 15th, 2005

Time:9:42 am.
think of me

Monday, November 14th, 2005

Time:5:40 pm.
think of me

Wednesday, November 9th, 2005

Time:5:29 pm.

i have no idea what my mom's problem is
she like flipped out last night
and now she jsut left me to go "shopping"
but tomorrow haley sleeps over♥
no idea what well do but um yea


so i've decided it's a good ting that i'm not extraordinarily pretty
because then i wouldn't have to second guess that
boys like me for the way i am not the way i look

3 cheers for not being gorgeous

in a good way

1 thought | think of me

Thursday, November 3rd, 2005

Time:9:00 pm.


1 thought | think of me

Monday, October 31st, 2005

Time:10:09 pm.
1. I'll respond with something random i like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
4. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
5. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
7. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST.
2 thoughts | think of me

Thursday, October 27th, 2005

Time:8:22 am.
Mood: aggravated.

oh, and by the way

whoever said i cry all the time can fuck themselves
because i don't

in fact, right now i couldn't be any happier

think of me

Time:8:16 am.
Mood: ecstatic.

so yea

life is grand



I'll be there with you-know-who

2 thoughts | think of me

Saturday, October 15th, 2005

Time:10:10 pm.

The Nymph
Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer (DBSDf)

Sly. Sensual. Guarded. Different somehow. You are The Nymph.

It appears like you're looking for a fling or a casual sexual relationship, but it's not that simple. You're a hungry but also very careful person, and this generates a certain amount of sexual tension within you and in your relationships. In other aspects of life, you get what you want. In relationships, that's not always the case.

It's possible you intimidate potential lovers. Most likely, though, you're a little closed off--therefore mysterious--and, naturally, people find that difficult to get with. Maybe it's just part of your selection
Your exact opposite:
The Peach

Random Gentle Love Master
process, though. You've been in enough relationships to know to expose yourself slowly.

When you do feel comfortable with someone, though, your torrid sexual appetite will make her very happy. Your cautious nature is also a big asset in a long-term relationship. It might take longer for love to establish itself, but when it does, it's all the stronger.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe

CONSIDER: The Playstation

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: initialxshock
1 thought | think of me

Thursday, October 13th, 2005

Time:4:02 pm.

my school picture made me cry

its horrible

i hate it

im gonna take a shower and cry some more

3 thoughts | think of me

Wednesday, October 12th, 2005

Time:7:10 pm.

i ♥ going to physical therapy

especially when a extremely handsome senior in high school
who works there


his name is Nate

and he makes me flirt bad

real bad

think of me

Thursday, October 6th, 2005

Time:9:39 pm.

i feel sick blehh

1 thought | think of me

Wednesday, October 5th, 2005

Time:10:09 pm.
Mood: chipper.

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Ryan is your soulmate.
You truly love Julie.
You consider Hannah your true friend.
You know that Ashley K is always thinking of you.
You'll remember Pete for the rest of your life.
You secretly think Ashley A is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.
You secretly think that Alyssa is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.
You secretly think that Jessica is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Jessica changes lovers faster than underwear.
You secretly think Nick is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Joanna has a hidden internet romance.

maybe i DO change lovers faster than underwear...so?
and Ryan's my soul mate
think of me

Tuesday, October 4th, 2005

Time:10:06 pm.
Mood: bored.

so i totally don't update this thing anymore

myabe i should

nothing relaly going on in my life....

like my new icon?

how do you like them apples?

1 thought | think of me

Thursday, September 15th, 2005

Time:3:11 pm.
Mood: ecstatic.
you have no idea how good it is to realize it's only 2 months and 3 days until the new Harry Potter movie comes out!!!!!!!!
2 thoughts | think of me

Monday, September 12th, 2005

Time:8:23 pm.
these have got to be the cutest things ever!!!!!

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6 thoughts | think of me

Saturday, August 20th, 2005

Time:11:23 am.
Mood: okay.
i got new hair!

check it out!

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what do you think?
3 thoughts | think of me

Thursday, August 11th, 2005

Time:11:00 pm.
Mood: depressed.
im freakin stil in love with mike.


so im sitting here looking at old pics of us, listening to I Don't wanna miss a thing on repeat and bawling my eyes out.

i need help
1 thought | think of me

Sunday, August 7th, 2005

Time:7:50 pm.
Mood: confused.
i dont know if i like him or love him..want him or need him.. but i do know that the feeling i get when i see him..its unexplainable

im in such a dilemma

i really really like ryan
and jesse says he likes me but i think hes full of crap
this guy thats been talking to me on myspace is all like "we're so much alike" and gonna rearrange his schedule to go minigolfing with me
and this other guy i met on myspace is gonna take me out to get ice cream

but i want ryan more than anything right now

i mean we have the best relationship. friendship that is. he's like my best guy friend and if we take it farther i'll never get it back. i mean how many other guys are willing to make me into s superhero.

i jsut wish he'd like me the way i like him

but ryan is the one i wanna end up with. no matter how many men i date or how old i am. i want ryan in the end
1 thought | think of me

Subject:my schedule like whoa
Time:7:49 pm.
Mood: stressed.
my schedule:
1st per.-Health (sem 1) Crafts (sem2)
2nd per.-Photograpy(sem1)PE(sem2)
3rd per.-Eng 3H
4th per.-US HistH
5th per.-Span 4H
6th per. -Adv. Alg 2H
7th per. -ChemH
7.25 credits like whoa
7 thoughts | think of me

Tuesday, July 19th, 2005

Time:2:43 pm.
Mood: melancholy.
this made me cry
the "to the girls" part is practically Mike's biography
im seriously in tears

Through all of the relationships I've gotten myself into, I've learned something new every time.Recently, I've learned, that a guy should never pursue a relationship w/ a girl if you only have a "gut-feeling" to fall back on.This is probably one of the stupidest things of done when it comes to relationships.The guy should always sit back and actually consider the real reason why they feel the way they do about that significant other.You should never pursue a relationship if it's solely a "physical" attraction.If you begin a relationship depending on "hook-ups", that will be the only thing holding your relationship together.This is true in the fact that 42302384203% of high school relationships that have shared intercourse depend on this to keep there relationship going.Introduce me to a guy, who has had sex with his girlfriend (not wife) and isn't thinking about their next "hook-up", instead of the next time he gets to hold her hand.I'm yet to meet someone like that.The safest way to cure lust is to remain celibate until mairrage.Moving on, girls, face it.Guys lie.Guys create a false affection for girls in order to earn their trust.A girl who has 100% trust in her boyfriend, and believes they will be "together forever" or whatever falicy you choose to fill in the blank with, will be about 2342309x more willing to advance sexually with this boy, than a girl who has a boyfriend of decent morals.I've also recently learned that girls are good at playing innocent.Everytime you hear about a sexually active relationship breaking up and the two are totally torn-up over it, popular belief tells you to point a finger at the male.This is not always true.Almost all of the time the girl is just as much at fault as the guy.Girls are also good at playing innocent when it comes to a break-up.Chivalry says that the guy should take the brunt of a break-up.Is this right? Perhaps so.I believe that everytime you break up with a girl you should leave a pretty big space for the girl to blame you.I guess you could call it a messed up form of common courteousy.When I break up with someone, I try to be as completely honest as possible.I'm not going to tell you that I enjoy it, because I don't.It kills me to see girls upset.It honestly kills me.I've thought of countless excuses for breaking up with people, but when it comes down to it, she's going to find out either way.Whether it's from your friend or hers, she won't be near as upset hearing it from you.She might not like it, but deep down, she respects it.

To the girls: Don't assume that guys won't care where you are, because we do.It makes us feel secure to know that our girlfriends aren't off flirting w/ guys we've never heard of.Also, don't talk about your ex-boyfriends.We never have, nor never will respect/like them.Nor, do we want to hear about them.When you do, you're asking your boyfriend to be jealous.You're asking your boyfriend to lose trust.On that, don't hump everything that walks into the room.We don't care if you talk to other guys.We don't care if you're "friends" with other guys.But, when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/stunning, we freaking mean it.Don't tell us we're wrong.We'll stop trying to convince you.The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.Yeah, you can quote me.Don't be mad when we hold the door open.Smile, and say "thank you".Let us pay for you.Don't "feel bad".We enjoy doing it.It's expected.Smile and say...everybody together now..."thank you".Kiss us when noone's watching.If you kiss us when you know nobody's looking we'll be more impressed.You don't have to get dressed up for us.If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have, put on every kind of make-up you own.We like you for WHO you are not WHAT you are.Don't flirt with guys when we're not around.We'll find out.Trust me.We have eyes everywhere.And when we find out, we're pissed.Not nessecarily with the guy/s you flirted with, more-so with you.Don't take everything we say seriously.Sarcasm is a beautiful thing.See the beauty in it.Don't get angry easily.Stop using magazines/media as your bible.Don't talk about how hot "Tom Cruise" or "Brad Pitt" is in front of us.It's boring, and we don't care.You have girlfriends for that.Whatever happened to the word "handsome"? Why does everything have to be "hot/sexy".I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with a "hey handsome" instead of a "hey baby, stud, cutie, sexy" whatever you can think of.Claiming girls or guys to be "hot" shows immaturity.Girls, I cannot stress this enough, if you aren't being treated right be a guy, don't wait for him to change.Ditch his sorry, disgrace-to-the-male-population butt, and find someone who will treat you with utter respect.Someone who will honor your morals.Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

To the boys: CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD.Hold the freaking door open.Pay for her dinner and a movie.Buy her flowers when she's least expecting it.Write her a poem, and recite it to her instead of giving it to her.Stop expecting her to do things for you.YOU are the male.YOU are expected to uplift the honor and respect that we have earned.Stop playing the macho, "my balls are bigger than my brain" card.Show how much you care about her through sentimental things, instead of physical things.Stop pushing sexual advances.Freaking wait.Life's too short to grow up fast.If you do something respectable, she'll notice.She might not tell you, but she sees it.Never forget that.Stop looking for a girl to "hook-up" with.Find a girl who you could see yourself with 6 months from then.Use self-control.Stop being jerks.Stop referring to girls as "b--ch-s", and "hoes".They are WOMEN.Stop talking about how big her breasts are, or how tight her butt is, and start looking at what color her eyes are, or what color her hair is.Ask her what she likes to do for fun.Get to know her.Never trust a "gut-feeling".Hey guys: girls lie too.Don't trust her when she says "he's just a friend".That's your first sign.Act on it.Don't grab every girl you have and flirt with her right in front of your girlfriend.Talk to her about it.Communication is key.Forget your macho, alpha-male mentality and get to know the girls before you "hook-up" with them.
6 thoughts | think of me

Time:12:06 pm.
Mood: pleased.
Pick out your celebrity family!! If you were a celebrity, who would your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/Wife be? Aunts and uncles? Every one has a cool cousin, who's yours?Who would be your neighbors? What about your best friend? You pets? Don't forget to make a little drama! Where would you live?
Common, you're the celebrity now!

wife/husband/boy or girlfriend:

my kid/s:

my brother/s: my older brother: and my younger brother:

my sister/s: my older sister: my middle sister:


is married to:


Married to:

my cousin/s:,,


think of me

Monday, July 4th, 2005

Subject:who i would do
Time:10:33 am.
List ten fictional characters you would have sex with, and then tag five friends.

1. Bradin (from Summerland) because he's freaking hot, it's Jesse McCartney, and he's a bad-ass.
2. Seth (from the OC) because he's also mighty attractive and he's the cute loveable geek that everyone adores.
3. Walter (from Second Hand Lions) because well i duno why i just like Haley Joel Osment.
4. Kevin Myers (from American Pie) because he's just soooo hot.
5. Stifler's brother (from American Pie) four words: "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"
6. Ephram (from Everwood) mm angst-ridden boys. quite a turn-on
7. Roscoe (from Pixel Perfect) um because he's sweet but totally oblivious and smart
8. Sam Hall (from Day After Tomorrow) because it's Jake Gyllenhaal that's why.
9. Olivia Wilde (from The OC) because she's just very sexy
10. Russell (from Sleepover) because it's Evan Peters. yup

I pick:

1. Hannah
2. Steph
3. Trina
4. Alyssa
5. Cara
think of me

Sunday, July 3rd, 2005

Time:4:10 pm.
think of me

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

Time:3:48 pm.
think of me

Monday, June 20th, 2005

Time:9:34 am.


fuck yeaCollapse )

think of me

Time:7:56 am.
my heart is racing so fast. im freakin creeped out b/c of that kid. ahhhhh
think of me

Sunday, June 19th, 2005

Time:6:03 pm.
so not much has happened lately.
went out to Olive Garden for my mom's birthday.

my aunt left today *teartear* it's sad b/c i won't see her again until my graduation. yea. that's rough.

i'm deep in like

i am SO ready for school to be over. jsut TWO more exams and i'm done. yayy!
think of me

Saturday, June 18th, 2005

Time:6:10 pm.
awww my gawd

The image “http://www.irishjacks.com/lil_5wks.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
1 thought | think of me

Time:6:07 pm.

hehe lol
1 thought | think of me

Time:11:54 am.

ew wtfCollapse )
2 thoughts | think of me

Sunday, June 12th, 2005

Time:6:02 pm.
Mood: calm.

there i go and start to like *nugget* again

3 thoughts | think of me

Wednesday, June 8th, 2005

Time:2:50 pm.
ashley its here:http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=5802048&friendName=Matt&Mytoken=20050608115002
think of me

Monday, June 6th, 2005

Time:4:12 pm.
Mood: sad.
hmm well we've been writing sonnets in English and now i'm hooked

these are really depressing so beware....

Beautiful as the morning sun
An angel's face in all it's glory
But just as soon her heart's undone
And her tears tell a love story
One boy one girl forever happy
Hugging and holding endless bliss
The Kissy faces and everything sappy
Whoever knew it would end like this?
Angels in heaven gasped and sighed
When he broke her heart in two
He never knew how much she cried
"You should move on" he said "So should you"
So now she sits and thinks why
And all she wants to do is die

The cutting, the burning
Thoughts run throug her head
She just isn't learning
And she's rather be dead
Tears falling, her wrists cut
Blood drips to the ground
And out goes the flame of the cigarette butt
Tire she is and she wants to be found
Days go by and all she feels is pain
She wants to be noticed but nothing works
The towel she uses is covered in stains
She's tire of a world full of jerks
But this time it's different, she won't just weep
She cuts one last time and falls into eternal sleep
3 thoughts | think of me

Sunday, June 5th, 2005

Time:9:35 pm.
why am i lying to my self?

the whole day i tried so hard to be my usual happy self. but in the end it's not worth it. i get home and i think about him again and i break down. if he read this, i doubt he'd be happy. he thinks i'm okay. he thinks that i'm moving on. but im just lying to him again
1 thought | think of me

Time:8:44 pm.
i'm being really immature about this. i cant get over the fact that we're through and I'm not getting him back. like today, i looked at his myspace and he added this really pretty girl and it's like grr. know what i mean? it's hard for me to realize this is going to happen and he's going to move on. but it hurts. i really wanna know what went wrong
3 thoughts | think of me

Friday, June 3rd, 2005

Time:5:39 pm.
it shouldn't be like this. you said we'd be together forever. you wre naming our kids and where we would live. it's not fair. where did i go wrong? did my imperfections make you mad? did i do something wrong? was it something i said? i can't deal anymore. it hurts way too much. and i miss those times where i'd skip class for lunch. just to see your smile and bright blue eyes. holding hands between classes and kiss suprises. i'm tryin to be happy and tryin not to cry. but when i see your face and you look in my eyes. it makes me hate myself for doing you wrong. which is why i wrote this stupid song. i'm tired of crying and feeling this way. Michael Rukus, I still love you. Please don't go away
2 thoughts | think of me

Wednesday, June 1st, 2005

Time:10:49 am.

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Ashley is your soulmate.
You truly love Alyssa.
You consider Steph your true friend.
You know that Christie is always thinking of you.
You'll remember Mike for the rest of your life.
You secretly think Ryan is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.
You secretly think that Ashley is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.
You secretly think that Trina is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Trina changes lovers faster than underwear.
You secretly think Cara is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Cara has a hidden internet romance.

Your Birthdate: February 22

While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings.

You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion.

Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings.

Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma.

An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail.

You are very aware and intuitive.

You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension.

think of me

Tuesday, May 31st, 2005

Time:5:09 pm.
I'm prettier when I cry
think of me

Time:10:25 am.

Mommy... Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
But Mommy, when I went school that day,
I never said good-bye,
I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot
the gun, He hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, Got the gun from his older brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Chris; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now, And tell my
wonderful friends; That they always were the best; Mommy, I'm not the first,
I'm no better than the rest.
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass.
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others, Mommy I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know they really did try,
I think I even saw a doctor, Trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, With a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest. Mommy I ran as fast
as I could,
When I heard that crack, Mommy, listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college; I wanted to try things that were new,
I! guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo.
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, Mommy, I wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know; you know it's true, And Mommy all
I wanted to say is, "Mommy, I love you."
****In Memory of The Columbine Students Who Were Lost****
Please if you would,
Pass this around,
I'd be happy if you could,
Don't smash this on the ground.
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye."
1 thought | think of me

Saturday, May 28th, 2005

Time:5:49 pm.
Mood: sick.
on account of waht happened thursday night:

Mike, I love you sweetie. I realy and truly do. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have had a shoulder to cry on and you just let me be there, no matter how hard i cried and how wet your sweatshirt got. You just rubbed my back and coaxd my not to cry and that meant so uch more than I think you know. I just appreciate it so much. I'm sorry that sometimes I act like a realy witch but you ahve to realize it's just temporary and I truly love you deep down in my heart. I don't know where I'd be without you. I'd probably be real lonely, obsessing over every guy who looked my way. But now I don't have to worry or look at the other guys because you're all I need. And I'm sorry that sometimes I get upset over little things like you going away, but I just thinka bout it and realize how hard it's going to be for the both of us, 3000 miles apart. But we'll make it. I have faith. Just as long as we believe that the summer will end and we'll be together once again. I jsut really love you. That deep down, cool-rush-when-you-walk-in-the-room feeling that I hope will never go away.
think of me

Friday, May 27th, 2005

Time:10:28 pm.

Well the concert was kick @$$.  i really really love BG and M&H.  they're all soo hott.  wel they both eprformed their songs and they raised 1300 dollars! holy crow!  and then after the ahow, me and christie went on stage and then cara and sarah and alysa came over and we were begging to get sarah to get John's #.  we finally got russ to get it but it as funny.  i'll write more abut this tomorro and i'll post the rest of the pics.  i'm exhausted and i gotta get up to do the car wash.  check ya'll later!


best pic of the nightCollapse )

1 thought | think of me

Time:8:50 am.
so yesterday was hard. like literally i was emotionally and physically abused, leading up to a grand finale of breaking down crying in the middle of wendy's. i mean, yesterday ws just hard from constantly getting hit in the head with rubbe balls and people yelling at me and stuff. ahh. and now I'm not being a bitch but everyone's calling me one so eff it. what effin ever.

oh and my computer's trying to make me a jew. on my WMP, the colorful like background thing that moves had a star of david just floating there for like ten minutes... creepy.

and i can't stop coughing
think of me

Thursday, May 26th, 2005

Time:8:49 am.
No entry found for lend lease act.
Did you mean little skate?

HAHAHAHA on dictionary.com!!!
think of me

Wednesday, May 25th, 2005

Time:4:20 pm.
omg you HAVE to look at these!!!(and comment plz!)Collapse )
1 thought | think of me

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